Human nature tends to let down its guard and act its worst around those who we are most familiar with. How you really are is the way you act towards others that you know the best – which are typically those of your own home.
The following are tips for husbands and wives that I have been working on in my own home, and I hope you find them helpful.
1. Tell your spouse “I love you” each and every single day.
2. Always say please and thank you.
3. Never demand anything one of another, but ask kindly with respect – like you would from anyone else out side the home.
4. Husbands, you don’t own your wife, so don’t act like it. Don’t be bossy and overbearing and order them around like a slave. Support them as the physically weaker vessel (1Pet 3:7) and love them and give yourself for them like Christ gave himself for the church (Eph 5:25).
Wives submit to your own husband in temporal matters as it is fitting in the Lord (Col 3:18), however, in spiritual matters Christ is your head not your husband. Men are not the head of women but husbands are the head of their wives (the relationship denotes the headship is concerning temporal matters). Christ is head of the Church (the relationship denotes Christ is the head of women concerning spiritual matters) and in Christ Jesus there is neither male or female (Gal 3:28).
5. Wives don’t nag your husbands. If they have been too busy to get something done that is important to you, and you have already asked them a number of times, try asking them after you have done something nice for them. Or ask if there is anything you can do to help them get started on their project. You will find this goes over much better then telling them “I have been asking for two months now to fix the leaking tap. When are you ever going to get this done? It is so hard to get you to do anything around here!”
6. Husband, thank your wife for each meal, when laundry is done and for how well your clothes have been folded, and when the home is cleaned and what a clean house she keeps. Wives, when you husband fixes something around the home thank him, and when he brings home his check tell him what a good provider he is.
7. Each day ask the other if there is anything you can do for them.
8. You both need to be patient with eachother’s weaknesses and faults. You should not make a practice of pointing out eachothers faults over and over. Remember that love will cover a multitude of faults. Deal with the other’s faults the way you want them to deal with yours.
9. Be always seeking what you can put into the marriage – not what you can get out of it.
10. Make a practice of trying to give into eachother when there are differences. That way when you really feel strong about something, your spouse will not have such a hard time giving into you.
11. Pray daily for each other and carry a burden for eachother’s spiritual welfare.
12. Have family devotions together each morning – even if it is only 5 or 10 minutes.
13. Keep a list of the things your spouse asks you to do on the cork board. When you spouse asks you to do something make sure you put it on your list and put a date beside it so you know how long it has been there. Cross off the items on the list as you do them. It is okay to offer to do something on your list if your spouse will do something on their list.
14. Never discuss each others past faults and mistakes in front of other people. While your spouse may laugh along with you and not say anything about it later, you may have hurt them deep down.
15. Don’t allow a disagreement to escalate into an argument and certainly not in public or in front of your children.
16. If you get into a charged disagreement with your spouse that digresses to a point where you are bringing up each others faults and failures, it is best to end the conversation with prayer and set a time to discuss the issue the following day. Before you enter into discussion you should lay some guidelines for resolving conflicts. You should also pray apart to make sure you have grace and then pray together before you start the discussion and ask God to give you both grace to conduct the discussion in a godly manner.
Related Articles:
Points on Receiving Correction
Points on Giving Correction
Guidelines for Resolving Conflicts in Your Marriage
July 29th, 2009 at 1:49 am
Very helpful and inspiring.
September 17th, 2009 at 11:11 am
very helpful to me
September 17th, 2009 at 11:12 am
very helpful to every couple
September 19th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
i learned from it…
September 19th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
i learn from reading the tips
October 7th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Very nice. I needed this. It helped me a lot
November 1st, 2009 at 9:10 am
it was helpful for me and my husband…….
January 12th, 2010 at 5:46 am
Yes, very wonderful advice. I’d only like to add one very important golden rule:
- Tell your spouse “I love you” each and every single day.
I cannot impress how important this is!!! More than anything else, do this! Do it every day!! And show your spouse how much you love him / her as well .. words only count for so much… actions count for much more! It’s just so critical!
Love and best wishes to everyone
dvc
January 14th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Hi David,
>>>- Tell your spouse “I love you” each and every single day.
I made that #1.
Thanks.
Bob.
July 28th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
This is very inspirational. I would also like to add one more thing. “Spouses must show respect and honor towards each other.” These days it is very hard to live a healthy Christian marital life but with Gods help… anything is possible.
more marriage tips…
Make God your number one priority
encourage each other
compliment and praise each others successes and thank God for them together
pamper each other when one is ill or exhausted
May God richly bless all Marriages:-)
October 12th, 2010 at 9:02 am
it is essential for everybody to read your tips every day
October 17th, 2010 at 7:39 am
thank you, thank you
October 17th, 2010 at 7:41 am
thank you.
October 31st, 2010 at 9:51 am
Husband and Wife relations devlops over a period of time,there are ups and down in life of a every person.In such situations Mutual Understanding,Care and last but not least ……….LOVE helps a lot to take relations to other vistas of Life.
With Regards for a Health Relationships.
Your Success
November 1st, 2010 at 11:09 pm
thanks for the tips and advice
December 31st, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Superb tips i love and like it very much……………..thanks a lot
December 31st, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Hi o great tips i love it a lot lot lot it will be surely gona to be very useful superb thanks a lot and lot
January 27th, 2011 at 5:16 am
Great tips for a healthy relationship betweem couples. Trying to be the best wife but the source of our arguements and fight are cos of my MIL, dont know how to get rid of it. Seeking God’s help every single second to get rid of my short-tempered character.
January 27th, 2011 at 9:23 am
Hi Sona,
Does MIL mean mother-in-law? Do you live with your mother-in-law or does she live with you? When you say the “source of our arguments” who do you mean by “our”, you and your husband?
Bob.
January 30th, 2011 at 1:28 pm
what if there faults are what is breaking the marriage. How can you keep quite day after day?
February 17th, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Hi Milie,
You can sit down with them and discuss your relationship. Start by asking them if there are things you can do different or that they would like you to change it. Then next week discuss the things with them that you would like them to do different. Take actions concerning the thing they want you to change it. Be an example.
Marriage is a give and take. When all the other person wants to do is take then the marriage will not work.
Bob.
March 1st, 2011 at 12:08 am
The message is very inspirational to me. However being married over 30 years and still dealing with a very selfish husband - it breaks my heart that we didn’t participant in these activities. Now there is so much strain between us it makes it very difficult for happy days. He is always concerned about his own welfare and rarely about others.
March 4th, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Hey Renae,
I’m sorry to hear about the strain in your marriage but there is still hope for you! God is so mighty, powerful, and literally capable of doing anything! Do not give up hope but instead treat your husband with respect and do kind things for him. “One loving heart set on fire inflames the other” so you show him and give him all your love and eventually he will not be able to resist. Just keep praying for him and ask God to give you strength and patience. Also remember this always “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Good luck to you and may God bless and restore your marriage:-)
April 6th, 2011 at 10:22 am
AMEN! = ))
April 23rd, 2011 at 1:02 pm
i want to follow this tips in each & every day. but my husband…… he is not accept anything. he always found out mistakes from others. even he is not interested to read this tips then how he can follow this. its my fate. anyway i want to tell about this tips to my friend dhanam.
April 23rd, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Hi Sorna,
Most non-Christians can follow these tips if there spouse follows them also. Jesus noted that it is easy to love those who love you and this the religious hypocrites do also. But it really take true conversation and true grace to act lovely to the unlovely and if we don’t have that in our heart it is impossible. Pray for God to put it in your heart sister. Grab unto the promises of the Word of God and believe. When you fail confess it to your spouse even if they don’t confess their lacks.
Lord bless you in this life, remember the next life is coming any day now — don’t miss it for the world!
Bob.
June 4th, 2011 at 7:45 am
oh..this is so very helpful tips to each others couples and so inspiring to follow them and it will be amazing idea’s to do..i’am starting now to follow and obey it through the help of the bible and god’s word a family deserves a good and great bonding with god and should be. and iam praying and hoping but iam sure also this motive gonna work for us through all hindrances we facing each day in our life keep us posted in every tips you have and we that would be great for me and i thankful for this site.i will always visit here..keep goin’ for good purposes.godbless
June 4th, 2011 at 8:39 am
Hi Joan,
Thanks you for your kind words. They make all the work I have put into this site a joy. It is such a blessing to write about good thoughts I read about or hear from preaching knowing that others will read the same things that have blessed me. To Jesus be all the glory for bringing us this glorious narrow, selfless, loving-Good-will-all-are-heart way.
Bob.
June 6th, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Bro Bob, to let you know your articles are appreciated, I enjoy your site too, and tell people about certain articles, and post links for others to view the articles too. I also printed this particular article…
Thanks for your effort.
Paul
June 17th, 2011 at 11:44 pm
“Human nature tends to let down it’s guard and act it’s worst around those who we are most familiar with…”
How can you take advice from people who are so dumb they can’t even tell the difference between ITS and it’s (it is)…?
June 17th, 2011 at 11:55 pm
Hi Amy,
>>>How can you take advice from people who are so dumb they can’t even tell the difference between ITS and it’s (it is)…?
Some times it is difficult for those who are more cultured or have all there t’s and i’s crossed but I think the grace of God is there even for that. I grew up doing drugs, had a learning disability, and was very poor in spelling. I have over come a lot of that and my grammar and spelling is at least understandable.
Thanks for pointing out the spelling error, I corrected it right away.
Bob.