The Cost

“The cost, what is the cost?”,
I did plea?
What do I pay, how much,
it can’t be free?

What do you mean, no charge,
no work I can do?
Surely there is something,
something that’s due?

Give up my sorrow, and pain,
of course, here you are.
My troubled conscience, and mind,
that are deeply marred.

My lonely nights, tears, and shame,
gladly I give.
The false hopes, desires, and plans,
I failed to live.

All these, I gladly give to you,
take them away.
But what yet, do I lack
what must I pay?

My will, you want my will too,
what does this mean?
Can’t I run my own life,
and do as I seem?

Yes, I have made a mess,
this I know.
Stubbornly doing it my way,
has brought me low.

But my will, that you ask for,
is all I have.
What about a part of it,
I’ll give you half?

Just let me sometimes,
do it my way.
Surely you don’t require me,
to give it all away.

Keep half of my sorrows and pain,
there’s no way.
A partly troubled mind and conscience,
God forbid the day.

Some lonely nights, tears, and shame,
please say no.
Not the false hopes, desires, and plans,
that brought me low.

Okay now I see, my problem
what it has been,
My will has caused all this,
bent toward sin.

Yes, I will give it, right now,
all to you.
Here, take it please, quickly
make me new.

Oh, what has happened,
what do I feel?
The burden is gone, I am light;
is this real?

Now I am feeling, a rush of joy,
in my soul.
I feel new, and changed,
I’ve been made whole.

Oh the tears, why am I crying?
I don’t feel sad.
I feel that promised peace
I feel glad.

Now look, the trees are greener,
the sun so bright.
Everything looks new to me,
I feel so light.

My heart is pumping so hard,
and very fast,
I feel full of love for you,
will this last?

Why did I not, do this sooner,
my will give?
So many years, I have lost,
please forgive.

I can feel, in my all my being,
love burning for you
My will, it speaks clearly now,
your will I do.

Something, is different in me,
there’s no fight.
Now giving you all my will,
feels so right.

Now I must thank you,
the work is done.
My will is completely given over,
my heart won.

–Bob Mutch

Note: It took me two tries to write this poem. I was in prayer when God first put the thought in my mind of writing on the cost to become a believer. I got as far as the will, and inspiration dried up. I felt that perhaps it was a false start that the poem would go nowhere.

This morning I was seeking the Lord in prayer and meditating on the cost it will take to make it all the through to the end. At that point, I received new inspiration and wrote with much joy, passion, rejoicing, thankfulness, and many tears.

I am so, so thankful that my will is completely given over to the Lord. I feel no reserves. I know the Lord is my helper and nothing in this world can hurt me if I leave my will in God’s hands.

There is a cost to pay when we get saved, and that cost is giving up our will as much as we know and can understand. Then, after we are saved there is the work of the purification of the heart from inbred sin – which the Bible calls the promise of the father, baptism of the Holy Spirit, or entire sanctification. To receive this work, we again must give up our will with the new understanding salvation has brought us.

While “The Cost” was written with conversion in mind, it is also the will we need to give over when it comes to entire sanctification. In both works, it is a matter of the will. When we are seeking the Lord for either salvation or entire sanctification, we should not seek the feelings expressed in this poem. We are to seek God, not feelings. Different people have different makeups, and will respond to the blessings of conversion and entire sanctification differently.

My Prayer: Oh Jesus, how I love you. You are my all and all. Keep me lord from the fowler’s snare; from every trick and trap of the devil. Let me never draw back from you.

Give me grace today to battle against temptations, self, the flesh, and the devil. Keep me low down and humble, and small in my own sight. Help me to love your Word, and guard my time in prayer with you.

Go before me in the small work you have given me to do. Bless my thoughts, actions, and my words. Help me to point people to you and not to myself. Help me to give all honor and glory to you and take none for myself.

Help me not to forget how bad it was to be in sin. The bondage to drugs, my heart full of anger, the regrets, the selfishness, and an evil heart full of sin. Please give me a greater holy hatred for the sins that appeal to the flesh. Give me a carefulness in my soul. Help me to hear the still small voice of the Spirit and to obey immediately your every bidding.

Help me, that my will would always do your will in all things, and in every way. Amen!